{Carried}

My definitions of the following ~

Pregnant: all of my dreams summed into one word ....being a mom.

Marriage: allowing your husband to be your strength when you are physically weak, and becoming stronger through our struggles. Living out the words, "for better, or for worse...in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Miscarriage: lossing the baby and the dreams you had for your precious child, and giving God his/her soul.

Threatened abortion: putting all of your faith in God to take care of your baby (while still hating the word).

                           ***************************************************

November 9th, 2012 ~
Late. Really late...pregnant ((reading a pregnancy test))! Stunned. Speechless. Excited. Emotional. Happy. Loved. Make an appointment asap to check (Dec. 4th, 2012).

November 24th, 2012 ~
4 am. Cramping. Bleeding. Scared. E.R. Doctors. Nurses. You're pregnant. There is a sac. You need to follow up with your Oby-gyn on Monday. No real answer. Dx: threatened abortion. Denial. Grief. But I'm going to make myself be happy. I'm going to wear a smile even if it hurts. I'm going to fake it til I make it. I must stay with a positive outlook.

November 25th, 2012 ~
More bleeding. More cramping. Panic. Bargaining....with God. Loss. Defeated. Angry...very angry. Why is this happening? Tears...uncontrollable tears.

November 26th, 2012 ~
Follow up. Oby-gyn giving me more information. If this is a miscarriage, tell me - I can take it. I need to know. I want to be in the moment if it is. Doctor: if you are having a miscarriage there is nothing you can do for your body to stop the process. Sadness. Helpless. Depression.

November 27th, 2012 ~
More cramping. Spotting. Working. Hiding so no one sees my face. Asking God for His will (repeat).

November 28th, 2012 ~
I'm better today than yesterday. Doctor's call back ~ you're not pregnant (anymore). You experienced a miscarriage. I'm sorry. Words like a knife. Crushed. Weeping. Why God, why? Didn't you hear me? Tears like a river in the waiting room at Josh's Doctor's appointment no less. Get me out of here! Still I will fake it til I make it...Christmas decorations up asap.

November 29th, 2012 ~
This was your will, God. I trust in You. I need You to be with me...to strengthen me. I am so weak, and need to feel Your presence. I did feel His presence while I was at work while taking care of my patients - my mind was off of me,  and on them. My sister, brother in-law, and cousin gave me so much support - kept checking up on me, fed me, and loved on me.

November 30th, 2012 ~
Feeling His (God) peace filling up my body. Loving me. Accepting me. Me accepting me.


December 2nd, 2012 ~
The church service was meant for me. There was prayer for all of the woman, and the vision woman carry for their family. I was refueled, recharged, and re-energized!

December 4th, 2012 ~
Bittersweet. I was supposed to be getting an ultrasound of my beautiful baby. Instead our visit today was to make sure my miscarriage has completely been removed from my body naturally, and talk about when we can try again. I'm confident it will happen one day, and we will have a little one - one day!

A few people knew I was pregnant and I sent them all a text as soon as possible so that if there were any questions I could get it out while I was already crying! I asked them to "not make it a big deal" as dying it down seemed appropriate at the time, when a friend said to me, "Monica, if you believe life begins at conception - IT IS A BIG DEAL. You will see your baby in Heaven." Those words brought me so much peace, and joy knowing that the month and a half I carried my precious little peanut wasn't in vain. I'm much better now, and I still get sad when people ask ((I think I always will)). But today I am stronger, healthy, happy, and know that God has a great plan for my husband & I...and our future bambino! To the ones who have called me, prayed for me, loved on me, hugged me, cried with me, checked up on me, and have uplifted me during this time...you know who you are - thank you from the bottom of my heart. You're love for me has encouraged this mourning heart. I have my faith in God, and only He has turned my mourning heart into dancing Psalms 30:11. I don't know why things like this happen, but what I do know that God has a perfect plan according to Jeremiah 29:11 and I trust that He knows best for my life.

This is my story of me and my baby....and when we were carried.

{Noteworthy}

There are a few people in my life that I would like to mention who were birthed on this glorious month of October, and they are just too important and special to go unnoticed. First and foremost, my little brother turned 24 years old...and I suppose he's not little anymore - he's a grown, handsome, and loving man. And when he's not working or with his beautiful wife, he's impacting the youth at his church. 

{Happy Birthday, Jacob!}

Another special and beautiful person is my cousin, Karina, and she celebrated her sweet 16...well, almost! Her actual party will be after Thanksgiving, and we cannot wait to celebrate (again)! She is spunky, quick-witted, loving, and has the heart of a leader. 

{Happy Sweet 16 Birthday Girl!}

The other person is my darling, sweet, and loving Tia Mirtha who has such a servant's heart. She turned a monumental age this year, but I will not disclose a lady's age! She is a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, and aunt. She is a behind the scene hard worker, and although she hates attention - she deserves all it all. 

{Te amo much, Tia!}

The other person that I would like to mention is my gorgeous friend, Shanna. Not only is she breathtaking, but she's giving, loving, and oh so funny. God has not only blessed her with a wonderful, strong, and dedicated husband - their marriage has been an example to Josh & I. Their 4 children are the most kind hearted, beautiful, and full of energy children who are replicas of their parents. If you met Shanna you would never know the struggles she's faced. You would never hear a compliant, negative thought, or inconvenience from her mouth - she is one of the most positive persons I know. I am so blessed to have met her years ago, learn from her as a nurse,  mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Shanna, you are dear to my heart. I love you so much.

  

{The birthday girl with her mom ~ they're beautiful, aren't they?!}

{Behind every great woman is a great man...and that handsome man to 

the left is love of her life & a great man.}

{Even without the 40 candles she'd light up a room.}

{The Birthday Girl & I}

{Ruby, Shanna, & Tanya ~ Beautiful Besties!}

{Dancing the night away to the best of the 80's & 90's at Howl at the Moon.}

{Shanna, Pam, & I ~ I love these girls.}

{Kathy & I ~ She's gorgeous!}

{Shanna, Ruby, & I ~ 

Ruby & Mark, planned an amazing party!  Love you, girl!}

{My handsome husband & I ending a great night!}

{Happy Autumn!}

I love the change of the seasons, don't you? I love the changing of the leaves, the change in the weather, and the change my life goes through with the season. I particularly enjoy the Fall season as it allows 'extra' times for my family to get together...as if we need any more reasons! Either way, I have been looking for a pumpkin patch for about a week, and really wanted to get this year's pumpkins from a patch as I've already compared the prices - and found that it was slightly more inexpensive (and could get a few pics out of the trip)! So, after church Josh being the patient spouse that I am not drove around town from Friendswood to League City to find his wifey a pumpkin patch! :) Thank God it was at a church off the road or I would've had to go back to church as I was starting to lose hope!

{Here are the orange beauties I plan on decorating and cooking with. More pics to come!}

{Happy Autumn from The Curteman's}

{For the girls}

Hello girls,
Thank you for helping me embrace womanhood. You've been with me everyday. We've gone through some changes. You've been with me through good times. You've been with me through bad times, and sometimes you've caused me some pain. You've made me feel like a woman, and one day you will join me through motherhood. Every month I check on you girls, but this month I celebrate you. I not only celebrate you, but I celebrate those who've lost you - the original you, and gained a 'new' you. I celebrate those who've attacked breast cancer, and now give inspiration to women everywhere. I remember those who've gone before me, and learn from their experiences. This month, I celebrate my boobies, and support Breast Cancer Awareness.

This past weekend I had the great pleasure of sponsoring a table and donating some Stella & Dot pieces from our Breast Cancer Awareness line to the Pampered Pink Event held by The Clear Lake Regional Breast Diagnostic Center. I heard about the event last year when I worked for Clear Lake Regional, and donated Stella & Dot's Tribute bracelet (our Breast Cancer Awareness piece from 2011). Last year's event was the first event, and the expected guest count was 50-ish. There were more than 200 people who came that year! This year's event was at least 400 people in attendance (if not more), and hosted by Gloria Dei Lutheran Church. The creator and organizer, Joni Faas, of the Breast Diagnostic Center, had the idea of bringing together the women of the Bayarea and celebrating them - telling their stories of breast cancer, presenting awareness to the topic, and supporting the cause. My sister accompanied to the event, and we were both touched by the survivors and "sur-thrivers", as they call those men & women who are currently going through treatment. The best part was the fashion show put on by men & women who have or had breast cancer, hearing their stories, and seeing them transformed into beautiful butterflies. The shined and worked the runway in stunning outfits by the Clothes Horse in League City, Texas and Joseph A. Bank. My sister and I had the honor of sitting next to a woman who was in the middle of her treatment, and to hear her story as she was presented by a shaw made by a group of women who specifically make them for those affected by breast cancer to provide the receiver a "blanket" of support, encouragement, strength, and beauty during the difficult time.

           

 

{The winner of the Stella & Dot prize was Ashton from Volume Salon on Bayarea!}

 

{The beautiful and handsome men & women who've attacked cancer, and won!}

{These exquisite bras were made by women in the community for the silent auction.}

{My beautiful sister & I}

One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast caner in their lifetime. Over 220,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year. When breast cancer is detected early, the 5 year survival rate is 98%. Join me in the sisterhood and have 'that' conversation with your girlfriends. I urge you to do monthly self breast exams, make your annual well-women exam, including your mammogram - because early detection saves lives.

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{Someone help the Nurse!}

I started off by waking up at 0500 to my dogs barking! Soon after, I got to work to take an exam (the second time). I am currently at a new place of employment that requires their nurses to take an exam testing their critical thinking skills based on their specific field (med/surg, pedi, ICU, etc.), and it is graded by pass or fail. I failed. :( However, I hope that this time around I passed. I then went and had a great lunch date with a very good friend of mine, Sara. We've been friends for 6 years now and started our nursing journey together.

{This picture was taken on our last day of LVN school in 2006 with my friend Sara & Margaret.}

   

Today's lunch date also included Sara's little baby girl, cutie-pa'tootie, Kyra. 

She is such a joy! I love her sweet face and the purity in her eyes. 

I got her to smile when I said, "Kyra's a pretty baby!"

Thank you for a great lunch, Sara. I love you, girl!

{I love looking up as it reminds me God is still sitting on the Throne.}

Following lunch, I went home to spend some time with my husband over some Pinkberry yogurt before he left for work. Shortly after, I went to see one of my cousin, Alex's football game. The weather was amazing, and the sky was just the same. 

After the game, and after Pilates class, I picked up Chinese to make it in time for the Vice Presidential Debate. I was very disappointed with Biden's verbal and non-verbal communication, and found it to be grotesque in his reply to national security/terrorist attacks, the countries debt, job decline, healthcare, and women's rights. 

Needless to say, I get really frazzled, upset, and frustrated at the thought of this country in the hands of President Obama. After I saw a post from a friend on Facebook yesterday on Obamacare's micro-chipping, I did some research and found that if he takes office for another term, he plans of putting this into action next March 2013. To add to my emotions, I heard about the little 14 year old Pakistan girl who was shot in the head for her beliefs on education. I cried myself to sleep praying for her. This little girl just wants girls in her country to have the freedom to be educated, and here I am in school & a nurse...and I cannot help her. As I pondered on the issues of micro-chipping and the little girl, I began to wonder if Americans are microchipped aren't we just the same as that little girl? Would we really have our freedom? In a sense, we end up the same - with our government monitoring our every move. Is that freedom? Our President wants to concern himself with women's rights and tell us that he want to give us the freedom to do what we want with our body, but we must all get microchipped so he and who knows who else can keep track of us? Someone help the nurse! This sounds ludicrous! I don't know if this is going to happen for sure or not, but it should make you think. In fact, in Revelations 13:16 it talks about the mark of the beast. I know one thing is for sure, Jesus will return, and my hope is in HIM. 

{RFID - Obamacare microchip}

 I've been doing a lot of praying these days as this election approaches, and while driving home a song came on the radio that gave me the peace I needed. Here are the words:

"I've got this blessed assurance holding me. All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this life and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong." ~ Kutless

 ♥ Paloma Blanca 

{Remembering}

I'm a little disappointed in myself that I let this slip because I wanted this to be posted the actual day, but I was working. Nonetheless, I don't want to miss another opportunity to celebrate my Tia Emma's life. October 8th, 2008, Emma Maldonado left the earth to be with the Lord, but while she was here - she was a joy! Well, I must be honest, she might have driven you crazy as she talked your ear off giving you her "un-asked" or unwanted advice, but one thing is for sure - she gave you love.

 I have very fond memories of my Tia as she was so full of energy, gusto, and laughter! 

The top two pictures are from Easter 1989 (way back when)! 

This is my Tia with her youngest son, Derrick, on his wedding day. I especially love the last picture as it shows a mother's love for her sons.

 June 13, 1959 - October 8, 2008

Gone, but not forgotten...I love you, Tia Emma ♥

{Sister Time}

Today I got to spend some quality time with my sister doing something we love to do...shopping! Her birthday is coming up next month, and I am planning a "girls" trip with her and my mom. We've only done this once before a few years back to Napa California. We had such a great time; I wanted to do another. This time it's TOP SECRET as it is part a girl's trip/part celebrating my sister's 28th birthday!!! The idea came from my husband (he's always thoughtful like that), who said, "This may be the last girl's trip that you take before you're a mom" as we are trying to create a little bambino, and it would be a little more difficult to pull myself away.

So, a girl's trip calls for shopping for something cold because that's all she knows! We search for sweaters, boots, and everything in between at the Houston Galleria, and yet I bought a few things...but NOTHING I really set out to purchase. Why is it that when you plan on buying, you can't find anything you really want? Oh well, bows it is! ♥

Introduction

Hello Fellow Bloggers, Passer-bys, Friends, and Family,
My name is Monica Curteman, and I'm new to the Blogging world. I've always shared my life experiences with my younger cousins, friends, family, my patients, and at times with random people I come in contact with. I was recently at a Girl's Night Event (Shecky's in Houston) and talking with women about blogging, and they encouraged me to start blogging - that I might be able to share my experiences in life, advise or tips as a nurse, cooking tips, and love for fashion to more people.

My mission I hope to inspire you, encourage you, help "soar" you through life's challenges, learn with you, laugh, and love life with you. I welcome feedback, tips, and advice. I am a busy gal, so I will do my best to reply back!

I would like to give thanks to a girl I who I specifically met who spoke with me last Friday, and encouraged me to start blogging. I feel horrible that I cannot remember her name because I'd like to give her recognition, but her business is called Just Pearlz. Thank you, Just Pearlz! ♥

xoxo,

Paloma Blanca ♥